My love affair with vodka and gin started way back when I first turned 21.  Like most newly-crowned legals, I began my crusade into the realm of the intoxicated with  the staples of your average drinker everywhere - cheap beer and sweet, cloying mixed drinks like whiskey sours and rum & Coke.

My entire future changed when the first sip of a truly fine spirit cascaded down my throat and into my belly - Chopin potato vodka.  The smooth, crisp yet flavorful taste had me hooked.  It wasn’t long before I tried numerous other fine spirits in both the vodka and the beautifully botanical-ed bite of various great gins.

It wasn’t until more recently, however, that I’ve gravitated towards the martini.  Previously, I had enjoyed these on the rocks with no garnish.  My girlfriend’s parents purchased for me a fine set of martini glasses and I proceeded to delve into the salty, shaken-not-stirred world of the “true” gentleman’s drink.  And there’s no turning back.

And so, a perfect martini isn’t perfect without its not-quite-spherical, savory best friend… the olive.  In true Pete fashion, I have proceeded to purchase numerous varieties of the fruit, all stuffed with delicious cheeses (or garlic) in search of the finest companion to my new favorite beverage.  Here are my findings… so far.

Mario Blue Cheese Stuffed Olives

These are the McDonald’s, the “Kleenex” of blue cheese stuffed olives.  Available almost everywhere and certainly mass produced, the Mario olives are about as generic as you can get.  The olives are small and non-offensive.  The cheese, clearly imatiation that has been squirted into the fruit by a machine, has some flavor but isn’t great.  I’m glad I liked these enough to continue my journey, but if I were you, I wouldn’t start here.  Just skip them.  (That being said, the Jalapeno variety by Mario have a pretty good flavor, and I would give them a fair shake.)

Mario Blue Cheese Stuffed Olives

• Texture: Squishy
• Flavor (Olive): Slightly pungent
• Flavor (Stuffing): Fake tasting, but OK
• Saltiness: Moderate
• Overall: 5/10… Meh

Santa Barbara Olive Company Blue Cheese Olives

These were the second blue cheese stuffed olives I purchased, and I continue to be very happy with them.  These are a perfect step into the world of stuffed olives, as they are big (queen sized) and flavorful, with a great texture - but not too extreme in any way.  The blue cheese stuffing is clearly not “hand stuffed,” it looks like slices of cheese.  It might be imitation blue cheese, since I cannot see any “veins” running through it.  Thus, it retains a mild, almost buttery flavor.  Great overall.

Santa Barbara Olive Company Blue Cheese Olives

• Texture: Firm and Excellent
• Flavor (Olive): Mild, Clean
• Flavor (Stuffing): Mild, Buttery
• Saltiness: Moderate
• Overall: 7/10… Great

Santa Barbara Olive Company “Hand Stuffed” Blue Cheese Olives

I’m guessing these are the replacement model for the … erm… “non” hand stuffed variety I purchased before, as I can’t seem to find the “original” anywhere.  No matter, these are a superior upgrade, but not for the “newbie.”  These are extremely salty, as is evident by the slightly snappy texture and sometimes wrinkled surface of these olives.  The flavor of the fruit is strong but awesome, and the cheese is decadent, if not a extremely salty.  These are no machine stuffed olives; you can see the veiny cheese has been crammed into the cavity of each delicious morsel in a different way, bits of cheese floating in the bottom of the jar.  Yum, but not for the faint of heart (or those on low sodium diets.)

Santa Barbara Olive Company “Hand Stuffed” Blue Cheese Olives

• Texture: A little snappy
• Flavor (Olive): Strong
• Flavor (Stuffing): Salty, crumbly, delicious
• Saltiness: Extreme
• Overall: 8/10… Awesome

Mezzetta Blue Cheese Stuffed Olives

In my opinion, these are the best “store-bought” olives that I’ve tried so far.  One thing that makes them different is that they are packed in canola oil, “for quality,” supposedly.  One caveat is that you really have to pat them down with a paper towel before lowering them into the drink, as they will incorporate lots of oil onto the surface of your cocktail… not desirable, at least for me.  But, once you sink your teeth into one, you’ll see what I mean.  The Mezzetta, unlike the excellent but bold Santa Barbara, have the perfect balance of sweet olive and salty brine, with a delicious filling of real blue cheese to top it all off.  The cheese, again, is a perfect blend of salty and sharp - not too pungent, not too weak.  Definitely give these a try… they’re available almost anywhere, at least around here.

Mezzetta Blue Cheese Stuffed Olives

• Texture: Firm
• Flavor (Olive): Moderate
• Flavor (Stuffing): Perfect blend of buttery and sharp
• Saltiness: Moderate
• Overall: 9/10… Kick Ass

Novia Del Sol Blue Cheese Stuffed Manzanilla Olives

I had purchased these in hopes that they would be mind-blowingly good… after testing several other varities, I began to get a little more adventurous.  I paid a premium to order them online (I’ve never seen them in a store around here) from AJ Gourmet.  The service was excellent, and I would buy from them again… just not this product.

Why?  Because they were truly nasty.  First off, I was disappointed in the size of the olives.  True, they are not supposed to be “queen” sized, but man, they were tiny.  Second, the olives themselves had a sour, almost spoiled taste to them (no, they weren’t expired.)  Third, the cheese contained inside was equally as bad - rather than possessing the salty, sharp taste of blue cheese - it just tasted skanky.

I tried each variety three times, on different days with different spirits, just to make sure I really hated them.  Then I threw them out.  I would recommend you give these a skip.

Novia Del Sol Blue Cheese Olives

• Texture: Acceptable
• Flavor (Olive):  Sour, Spoiled
• Flavor (Stuffing): Skanky
• Saltiness: Moderate
• Overall: 1/10… Nasty

Stoller Farms Garlic Stuffed Olives

I know these aren’t cheese stuffed and break the theme of this post a little bit, but I don’t care.  These are distributed locally (Franklin Park, IL) but I have no idea where the company is based.  I bought them at a local liquor store since I had never seen them before.  The texture and size of these olives is awesome.  At first, the flavor was a bit reminiscent of the nasty Novia Del Sol olives I just talked about, but that flavor wanes after the first taste.

The true beauty of these is the garlic stuffing.  There’s a whole clove in each one of these little beauties, and for a garlic lover… that’s heaven.  The rich taste of the vampire repellant blends with the salty goodness of the fruit for a taste treat that can’t be beat.  I highly doubt these are the “best” garlic olives out there, but worthy of a purchase.

Stoller Farms Garlic Stuffed Olives

• Texture: Perfect
• Flavor (Olive): OK, a little skanky
• Flavor (Stuffing): Garlic cloves… not much to debate here
• Saltiness: Moderate
• Overall: 6/10… Great

Conclusions

I’m greatly looking forward to testing out more varieties of olives in the future.  Next on my list are olives stuffed with other cheeses, “real” jalapenos, habaneros, and other garlic stuffed varities!